New Life pt 1

So we drove. Stopped for those cigarettes, and went back to my Grandmas where my dad and stepmom were staying for the night. My ex hadn’t picked up my kids yet, and when they saw me come back without Josh, they were in shock. Being the AMAZING babies they are, they didn’t ask me to immediately re-live the pain, only hugged me tight and asked “Are you ok Mama?” My cousin, who had pulled me to the side before we left asked the same. The only answer i had for them was “I will be as long as I have you guys.” I had NO idea if this was the truth, or how I was going to get thru this, I missed him so terribly already, and it had only been an hour since I left him. Other family members were saying their goodbyes, back to their lives until we meet again at Christmas. But where am I going? All I know is Danville, VA. After everyone was gone, or gone to bed, I was left to my thoughts. I kept hoping that I would eventually fall asleep, or pass out, but sleep never came. So many questions. Who am I now? Where do I go from here? Will I ever smile again? I was still awake when my grandma got up to cook breakfast for everyone. We all got up, my dad and stepmom got packed up, we ate breakfast, and hit the road toward my new life…..

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