Soulmate pt 2

It was sort of a joke, but not. Four of us there. Myself, Josh, his cousin Pugsly. Yes, I said Pugsly. LMFAO. I have NO idea why he was called that. His name? John Michael. Anyway. And Josh’s moms boyfriend, Roger. That one needs a post of its own, and a case of tissues for me. You’ll hear more on that later. Anyway, we’re all drinking, laughing, having a great ole time, when Pugs says “Hey Josh. I know you like her, why don’t ya ask her out already ya fuckin pussy?” Yeah, that’s great lol…so he does, on the spot. I told him we would discuss it in private later on, because well, I just did. Too many nosey ears & flappin tongues in the room at the time. So later we discussed our friendship, how important it was, and that no matter what, we didnt want to lose that, and decided to give it a shot. I moved in within the week. Crazy? YES. I had NO idea just HOW crazy. But I was about to find out… Josh and I were inseparable. Almost LITERALLY joined at the hip. And LOVED it. You didn’t see one of us without the other. We lived in the same house with his mom and her man, and his brother and his girlfriend. We were all pretty happy together, but some days….well….I’m pretty sure within the first week i lived there i was REQUIRED to go to the ER with some imaginary pain, to get pain pills…WHAT? I don’t fuckin TAKE pills…why I gotta go GET pills…I DOUBLE DARE YOU TO ASK…cuz you live here for free, thats why. And you will clean what and when we want and you will cook when and what we want and you will…..the list goes on and on. Stay up ALL NIGHT ALONE and shampoo the carpet in the entire house because we dont want to but the landlord will be here tomorrow. EVERY DAY was something like this. Josh and I were happy as can be, minus all the drama from everyone else. 3 months in, he proposed, I said yes. My family didn’t really like him, or his family, but i was in my 30’s…i didn’t care. They didn’t like anyone else either…so fuck em. We were GREAT together…celebrated an anniversary every month with hand made cards, hand picked flowers, and candlelight dinners that mostly consisted of us sitting on the bed with a giant plate of fries & chicken strips that we cooked together. We’d watch movies and laugh and eat bags & bags of Andy Capps hot fries….we had no money, and even if we did wouldve done it all the same. All this was wonderful, AMAZING even, but this was only in one room. Drama lived all thru the house. Josh seemed eventually to begin to pull away from me, ever so slightly. I lived in that house a total of 14 months, in which time I became torn between the man I loved so VERY deeply, who I no longer felt was on my side, and my sanity, my identity, which were slipping away as well. We stole things we needed, & yes, sometimes wanted, from multiple stores. *bows head in shame* Even got caught once, almost went to jail. (That my friends was when I left…) His mom would take advantage of anyone she possibly could, and boy she is good. She could talk the fur off a cat if she wants it bad enough. She’s not the only one. In retrospect, I see that they were ALL that way. There was something different in Josh though. Most days I would SWEAR he wasn’t blood related to them. Turns out he was just better at HIDING it…leaving was a slippery slope. With all the anger and hostility floating around, who can I trust? Used to be Josh, but he seems to have floated away. Can’t trust anyone else in the house, no phone, no car, no friends, and no family within walking distance….what to do?

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